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Every great Christopher Nolan movie consists of three things. The first part is called “The Pledge”. The director shows you something extraordinary: a device that lets someone enter peoples’ dreams, a bat-man, or Scarlet Johansson in a corset. Perhaps he invites you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, practical, not CGI. The second part is called “The Turn”. The director takes the extraordinary something and makes it do something ordinary. Now you’re looking for the secret… but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know that the movie isn’t real. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn’t clap yet. Because making something extraordinary isn’t enough; you have to make it unique. That’s why every Christopher Nolan movie has a third part, the hardest part, the part we call “The Completely Inexcusable Lack of Hot Actresses with the Exception of The Prestige“.
The only type of movie where a total lack of T&A is excusable is a kids’ film. Enter Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Kevin, a precocious ten-year-old with an attitude who for the second year in a row, is at odds with his father, Peter (Gary Oldman), on the eve of their family Christmas vacation. There is an extra bit of duress and sadness inside the McCallister house this year as Kevin’s mom, Kate (Ellen Page), has recently committed suicide. To make matters worse, Peter is constantly seeing visions of his late wife and is beginning to lose his grip on reality. Fortunately, his large and diverse extended family is there for him during the holidays once again.
The big departure from the original is that this time everything on the day of their flight goes just swimmingly. Kevin and his family actually do end up on the same plane and arrive in New York City together as planned. With all of the post 9/11 security measures at airports nowadays, it simply is not feasible that a child could end up on the wrong plane all alone with no identification. The separation occurs later, when Kevin, carrying his father’s suitcase, stops to look in the window of a toy store, Tesla’s Toy Chest, and his family carries on without him. Peter and the others check in at the Sheraton Manhattan Hotel and amidst the hustle and bustle of the lobby don’t notice that Kevin is gone. Being an industrious fellow, Kevin roots through his father’s bag and finds his wallet and travel brochure which he mistakenly follows to the Sheraton Hotel & Towers New York. And since the McCallisters are typical oblivious tourists who didn’t do their research, no one notices that the other Sheraton is in fact right across the street.
Not realizing he is at the wrong Sheraton, Kevin goes up to the front desk to check in. The front desk clerk (Christian Bale) informs him that he does not see a reservation under McCallister and says he is unable to book him a new room because it is against hotel policy to check in a minor with a parent’s ID and credit card.
Meanwhile, the wet bandits, Harry and Marv (Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine), have escaped from jail to menace the streets of the Big Apple. They see Kevin lugging his suitcase outside the hotel and recognize him as the kid who nearly booby-trapped them to death last Christmas. They chase after him back to Tesla’s Toy Chest only to be halted by the store’s owner (Andy Serkis) who is busy showing Kevin a bit of generosity and Christmas spirit. Harry and Marv then begin to concoct a diabolical plan to catch Kevin, hold him for ransom, and if their demands are not met, they will blow up the Hudson River Ferry.
With nowhere else to go at night, Kevin returns to the Sheraton Hotel and Towers where Bale has had a change of heart. You see, the brooding, angst-ridden front desk clerk has long felt that he was cut out for something better, that he somehow had the ability to make a difference in this town. Sheraton used to be a mighty hotel empire and symbol for quality guest service, but harsh times and economic realities have made the company a shadow of its former self. Bale knows that the people of New York need something to believe in. He can make Sheraton a symbol once again, a symbol that shows citizens that there are still people in this town who believe in guest service. Bale’s Sheraton is not the hotel that New York deserves, but he can make it the hotel it needs right now. And the first step is to help this little boy.
Bale has the bellman (Tom Hardy) take Kevin up to the Prestige Suite, the largest and most opulent room in the hotel. Before he leaves, the bellhop tells Kevin he has been instructed to show him one thing, something very important. He opens the in-room safe which holds a spinning top, or “totem”, that lets the guest know they aren’t dreaming because the suite is just too awesome to be believed. Kevin is astonished at the size and luxury and gives the bellman a fat tip (a crack pipe found inside his dad’s suitcase).
Unfortunately for Kevin, even with the front desk’s help, staying at the Sheraton Hotel & Towers will not be easy. He and Bale must devise a series of methods to make his stay appear legitimate as the hotel manager (Ken Watanabe) runs a tight ship and has the property under a fine-toothed comb. Bale agrees to hide all of Kevin’s room service charges and Kevin wards off a male housekeeper (Dileep Rao) by making it look like his father is in the room, but out of sight. He accomplishes this through the use of an inflatable clown dummy (Cillian Murphy) that he places in the shower.
Kevin crosses paths with the wet bandits again one night in Central Park. Harry and Marv almost succeed in capturing him, but their efforts are thwarted by the homeless Pigeon Man (Aaron Eckhart in a non-speaking cameo). Kevin flees to the safety of Tesla’s Toy Chest and the store owner gives Kevin a set of turtle doves taken from his Christmas tree. Kevin thanks the old man and as soon as he exits the store, steps on the turtle doves, smashing them to pieces because no 10-year-old would find something like a pair of turtle doves amusing. Harry and Marv arrive at the toy store too late and interrogate and torture the owner, who tells them that Kevin is staying at the Sheraton.
Back at his hotel, Kevin runs up to the front desk to get Bale’s help in fighting off the wet bandits. Not much for hand-to-hand combat and reluctant to inform hotel security for fear of exposing Kevin’s false reservation, he sets up an elaborate series of weaponized traps from the military research and development division of Starwood Hotels, Sheraton’s parent company.
The wet bandits arrive later that night, but since they too are ignorant tourists, they also go to the wrong Sheraton. Dismayed at their inability to find and defeat a ten-year-old, Harry and Marv sit down at the bar at the Sheraton Manhattan Hotel. They end up talking and sharing drinks with an emotionally distraught man who unbeknownst to them, is Peter McCallister. After a few rounds, Marv starts blabbing about the little kid they are trying to abduct whose house they burglarized the year before. Realizing that the two men he’s drinking with are the bandits who destroyed his home last Christmas, Peter flies into a fit of rage and beats the shit out of them from one end of the hotel to the other. What the wet bandits could not have expected is that Kevin’s dad has nearly superhuman strength. He is so strong that during one part of their fight in a hotel hallway, he tosses them around with such ease that it appears they are almost fighting in zero gravity.
The next morning a simple phone call between Sheratons reveals that Kevin is staying at the hotel across the street and Peter goes over to find his son. He also finds something else. Upon entering the Prestige suite, Peter goes looking for his wallet and opens the in-room safe to instead reveal the totem. He is suddenly overcome with emotion from the shocking revelation that the visions of his wife being dead are a dream. Kate is still very much alive and this time it is she who has been left home alone…
H O M E A L O N E 2
