The US metformin hydrochloride brand name government clearly hasn’t realized that their indecipherable terror threat level chart is both confusing and lame.  Threat Level Purple?  I don’t know if that means I should duck under my desk or put on my speedos and wash my car.

The geniuses over at Conan O’Brien have come up with a brilliant new method of measuring the National Threat Level that is impossible to mistake.  The Nicolas Cage Terror Alert System.  It really couldn’t be more clear.  Enjoy…

Day 7: Bad Santa (2003)

“Why don’t you wish in one hand, and shit in the other. See which one fills up first.”

BAD SANTA is, without a doubt, the darkest holiday movie ever made.

It stars Billy Bob Thornton as perhaps the least likeable protagonist in film history, Willie, a mall Santa who is a drunk, misogynistic, homophobic, ruthless asshole.  He hates every thing and everyone.  He is aided by his midget sidekick, Marcus, as his helper elf.  Each year they engage is this ruse in order to rob the mall they work at.

Day 3: Trading Places (1983)

“I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro.”

Trading Places is actually less a movie and more a dramatization of a social experiment.  An experiment conducted by two WASPy, old money bank owners,  Randolph and Mortimer Duke.  They have a running argument about whether intelligence and class are born or bred.  So they make a wager, with Randolph betting that given the right circumstances, a common street thug could be the president of a bank while an Ivy League educated banker could become a thug on the streets.

New trailer from Sanctum produced by James Cameron.  This is significant because it is the first feature shot with Cameron’s 3d camera system that is produced for a lower budget.  It tells the story of:

An underwater cave diving team experiences a crisis during an expedition to an unexplored cave system.

Disney just released a short music vid showing off some new Tron: Legacy footage set to the first single from the soundtrack, “Derezzed,” by the super amazing techno act Daft Punk.  I’ll spare you the lengthy commentary on this video.  It just kicks so much ass.  This video makes me so excited I can feel it in my loins.  And I don’t use the word loins lightly.  Unless Olivia Wilde is involved.  Then I use it all the time.  Anyways…  watch it and you will see what I mean after the jump:

Mark Wahlberg is being offered the part of Eric Draven in Stephen Norrington’s remake of the 1994 cult classic The Crow starring Brandon Lee.

Bloody Disgusting confirmed that producer Relativity Media is after him for the part.